


Flower my heart to you

by sakurakjh



Category: GOT7
Genre: M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-04-21 01:53:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14274360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakurakjh/pseuds/sakurakjh
Summary: Jinyoung wonders if it is worth dying covered in bloody cherry blossoms.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I may do this an actual fanfic but I had to write it down before I forget it.
> 
> But I actually like it this way, I doesn't make sense.

Jinyoung asked himself if everything was worth. He wonders if dying on a death bed full of bloody cherry blossoms will be good enough for him.

He met Jaebum through Jackson. It was one of those reunions he likes to held, new people and all those things. He was talking to Mark, minding his own bussines when Jackson along with Junho came to greet them. In the neon lights of Jackson's apartment, Jinyoung met Jaebum.

Jinyoung didn't even gave the dude a second glance, he was head over heels for Hyunwoo to even give the other boy a second glance. The it happened again, this time, Kihyun invited Jaebum over to his brithday party, he started to befriend the older, and he was nice, kind of weird but talking to him seemed to soothe Jinyoung social anxiety for a second.

It was fall, in one of those parties Kihyun used to held when suddenly he heard Wonho say "Jaebum and Jinyoung make a great couple don't you guys think?" And everyone agreed. Even Hyunwoo. Jinyoung felt sick and went out to the balcony.

He remembers talking to Jaebum distantly. He remember babbling about his unrequited love for Hyunwoo to him. But it is until both of them got into the same class of music that they actually talk to each other without Jackson in between.

Jinyoung feels comfortable in Jaebum presence, they talk a lot and get along well. When Minhyuk makes a comment to him, though it doesn't get lost.

"He looks so at ease with you, like no one else"

Jinyoung felt delusional to think Hyunwoo will ever like him back when his heart was with Minhyuk.  
So he started to hang out with Mark, Yugyeom and Jaebum. Now that he thinks of it, it was all meant to happen.

It's a cold day of January when Jinyoung realizes he likes Jaebum. And it's a warm day of March when he realizes he's in love with him.

He starts to feel like all those repressed feelings wanted to come out.

 _To be free_.

And it happened, one night, Jinyoung confessed his feelings to be met by a "I don't like you that way" and then proceed to talk about the physics homework. Jinyoung felt so sick he threw up. But he was met with the sight of bloody cherry blossom petals all over his sink.

He didn't want to get the surgery, he felt like he would betray his feelings. So he let it be.

He let himself smile every time Jaebum talked about his new classmate. He swallowed those petals by the time Jaebum started dating Yoo Youngjae.

He had already blossomed out by March of the next year. There he was, in the floor of his bathroom. Wondering if dying in a bloddy death bed of cherry blossoms would be better than forgetting he once knew a Im Jaebum.

He got up, took a sip of water and called Jackson. He was in the hospital in no time, ready to get the surgery.

When he met Jaebum again, they were 28 and Jinyoung has been in a relationship with Yugyeom for at least, 5 years. They grow fond of eachother again.

They acted like best friends, Jaebum never mentioning knowing him before, and Jinyoung living in a lie. Jaebum has a cherry blossom tattoo Jinyoung thinks he has seen before.

It was like a flash light, when he got up un the middle of the night to find Jaebun who stayed over because of the rain, throwing up. But when he got closer it all changed.

There were peach blossoms all over the place.

So painfully alike the cherry blossoms he barely remembers cover in blood.

And when Jinyoung asks who is it, Jaebum just laughs a little and looks at him.

"The only person it'll always be"

 

**You**


	2. Give my heart to you

Jaebeom passes out before he could say the name. Jinyoung picked him up battling with his weight he put him down on the sofa, walked towards the bathroom and started cleaning. He was cleaning the bathroom when things struck him hard, the same scene, Jackson cleaning his blood stained bathroom and cherry blossoms all over the place covered in blood while he was in the sofa hugged into Yugyeom embrace. And then Jinyoung sinks to his knees. He feels sick, nauseous and wants to cry his eyes out, reaches for the sink to stand up but fails to get the grip of it and falls to the floor once again.

  
He is weak and the decoration of the bathroom makes him feel dizzy. All those years of fixation for the cherry blossoms he had attributed to Yugyeom's like of anime had come to a dead end. The fact that he always liked cherry blossoms was because he subconsciously thought of Jaebeom.

  
A Jaebeom he didn't remember. Because this Jaebeom was different, the Jaebeom he knew in a cafe when he was 28 years old is sweet, stays up late with him qhen he cries because Yugyeom left and has three cats because he is lonely in his apartment. The Jaebeom Jinyoung's mind remembers, the one he once knew in a party in Jackson's house is cold, barely talks, lives with Mark and was head over heels for Yoo Youngjae. Who as longs as he now knows, is married to his boss Daehyun.

  
Why Jaebeom didn't mention it? Did he knew Jinyoung had Hanahaki? Did he pity him? Did Jaebeom contracted hanahaki because of Youngjae's marriage? Did...?

  
"nyoung" Jaebeom hoarse voice came behind him, he looked worried, and Jinyoung mind flashes a different sight, when Jaebeom came home drunk and almost caught him throwing up flowers "are you..."

  
"Why didn't you tell me?" As if Jaebeom instantly knew what Jinyoung was about, he paled, he looked like his deepest secret has been reveled to the world.

  
"You didn't remember... You didn't need to" Jinyoung stood up and walked across the bathroom, he still feels dizzy and nauseous when a sound brakes the silence in the bathroom across Jaebeom face.

  
"WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT WHAT I NEED JAE?" the pet name he used to use on Jaebeom slipped of his mouth with hate and pain in the air. Jaebeom tried to get a grip of Jinyoung's arms but Jinyoung fought him and both of them, weak and sick fell to the bathroom floor. Jinyoung coughed and looked at him "How do you even pretend to know what I want even now"

  
"I wasn't going to tell you, you seemed to forget about me so I never touched the subject, i-"

  
"Did you knew? About the hanahaki?" Jinyoung hugs himself in the floor, his jeans are stained with Jaebeom's blood and marked in peach blossom patterns in the denim.

  
"You never told me it was me" Jaebeom sat down in the door frame "You always said I didn't deserve to know, later, Jackson told me why you never came back to college, and why everyone except him and Mark seemed to avoid me"

  
"You didn't tell me when we met again at the cafe" Jinyoung coughed again, still hiding his face on his knees.

  
"What was I supossed to do?" Jaebeom was tired, he didn't want to confront Jinyoung about this "Even now I don't know what to do Jinyoung, I have this" Jaebeom griped his shirt under his palm in his heart "this for you and i don't know how to handle this"

  
"I DON'T KNOW? TELL ME? NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN?" Jinyoung voice raised and the he slowed down "You were always cold to me anyway, never wanting me near you, always cold and one sided, no matter how hard I tried" Jinyoung laughed a bit "and you want to know what's worse? That i still have feelings for you, that I still have this stupid and over all disgusting feeling and need to run to your arms because I felt safe there and it's so stupid jaebeom, because not even a month ago I broke up with Yugyeom, because you never loved me back then and you probably will never love me the way I did when I gave my heart to you" jinyoung coughed again, hard "when i flowered my heart to you, when I almost gave up my whole self to you when you didn't even look at me" Jinyoung lifted his face and Jaebeom could see the blood dripping from his peach lips "and that's the worst part you know?, because even now that i know that you have hanahaki because of me, you hide the past from me, you hide everything we were and what we weren't. You lied to me, you made me feel like I wasn't worth being loved, like my whole existence was some sort of relieve to you"

  
"What do you know about feelings? You had hanahaki for me but not even once you told me about it, you brushed it off like you dying was nothing and then cut me off your life Jinyoung! You can't just simply go away and pretend I never existed" Jaebeom voice raised, punching the wall beside him breaking down the crystal in his palms, Jinyoung didn't move, used to Jaebeom anger outbursts.

  
"You never did for me! You never existed for me jaebeom your whole existence made me feel pain, so I took it away, with all your memories, before today I never remembered even once how your arms felt around me or how you drunk kissed me thinking I was Youngjae. and this hurts jaebeom, more than you will ever imagine" Jinyoung was crying, trying to hold himself in "You never stopped to think how much I suffered, you only needed a "I'm okay hyung" to go hang out with your boyfriend" Jinyoung tried to stand up but again, failed "This is unnecessary, stupid and reckless, just, let me clean this, cure yourself and go to the guest room and tomorrow morning go and never come back"  
Jaebeom stood up and sat in the tub, curing his hand and cleaning the mess he did while Jinyoung cleaned the blood stains from the floor and sink. He was about to go when Jaebeom toiched his hand, gently and slowly, locking their hands.

  
"Please nyoungie... Don't leave me" Jinyoung heart clenched and a memory struck him. That night Jaebeom had been drunk, when he was hugging Jinyoung to sleep, he said the same words.

  
But now they felt so empty. They felt like Jaebeom was a complete different person and he wasn't the Jaebeom he almost died for ten years ago. But he still loved that Jaebeom. He fell in love with a dork Jaebeom that didn't know how to cope emotions and almost got himself sick to rescue Kunta in a rainy night, he fell in love with Jaebeom once again even after all those years.

  
Jinyoung freed his hand and walked towards the living room, watching the rain fall over his window, wondering if it will ever come to an end. He coughed again, blood dripping in his fingers feeling the familiar contraction in his cheat he griped his shirt trying to convince himself it didn't came back.

  
Jaebeom got out of the bathroom and silently walked towards Jinyoung, slowly and afraid Jinyoung will dissapear.

  
Falling in love with a Jinyoung he never gave the chance to know was a whole irony in Jaebeom life, but he always felt guilty, like he didn't got the right to feel that way towards Jinyoung, because he was sacred and didn't deserve suffering because of him ever again. Even when he had love Jinyoung back in college, he didn't know how to without hurting his feelings and just gave up.

  
"nyoung, i-" Jaebeom touched Jinyoung's back slowly trying to hug him, but Jinyoung turned his body and hugged him instead.

  
"Shut up before I kick you out" Jaebeom smiled and Jinyoung guided them to the sofa, both of them falling soon asleep, and if Jaebeom had blood stains in his shirt or Jinyoung had peach blossoms all over his hair in the morning neither of them said anything as it was their first morning without an aching pain in their chest.


End file.
